Sunday, August 29, 2010

How Was Your Summer ?

Was your summer full of busyness... or a refuge from our normal crazy lifestyle?

I spent some of my summer wondering why I was unsettled. I looked many places. Conversations with John and other friends. I read some books that had been patiently waiting their turn and I listened to radio or my music. I blamed my Dad for leaving me, and then realized how silly but also how sad that made me. I worried about my (grown-up) kids and wished I was where I could be of help in some way. I spent time in silence. I found as the days moved on that the best times followed the silence. After the silence, the friends and the books and the radio meant so much more. My kids are fine. And I'm not mad at Dad any more.

“When we enter into solitude to be with God alone, we quickly discover how dependent we are. Without the many distractions of our daily lives, we feel anxious and tense. When nobody speaks to us, calls on us, or needs our help, we start feeling like nobodies. Then we begin wondering whether we are useful, valuable, and significant. Our tendency is to leave this fearful solitude quickly and get busy again to reassure ourselves that we are ’somebodies.’ But that is a temptation, because what makes us somebodies is not other people’s responses to us but God’s eternal love for us.” - Henri Nouwen

later man, jan

Sunday, August 08, 2010

My Dad... My Church...

I'm sure I have mentioned our church here - Living Spirit United Church...

Well perhaps not.. it's such an integral part of who I am that I don't really talk about it... unless we know people are looking for a church home, we don't really go out and advertise much. My, our family, since I was 12 years old.

We hired 2 new ministers - both 'girls' from my advanced view point - a year ago...

Life is exciting - fresh - something new everyday in our church family.

Today Traci spoke about living in the NOW. She and Jenn acted out the Mary/Martha story. Showed me in action how to look at my priorities. About setting aside the cares of the past, the worries about tomorrow. Being present in the now, looking for strength from the source that is deep within my soul but usually ignored in my day to day living...

In Dad's life story (which I seem to have been typing for years) he speaks at one point about that four letter word - LIFE - getting in the way of what is most important. He was making reference to relationships. Family and friends and places on his 'to-do' list that he regrets he missed.

I think we all have regrets. I hope we all have time in our life to act on those regrets before time runs out. I've bought the paper, it's time now to print Dad's story, there is no more to add.

Time ran out on Dad, but I truly think he was done with it before it was done with him. He gave what he had to whoever crossed his path, as long as he was still able to say "Hello my love, you're looking good today". I like to think that Mum is putting the sugar in his tea once again and for all eternity. That's what eternal Love is. Being together in some way that is still the deepest mystery to those of us still searching.

I give thanks for my church family. For all those who will be joining to celebrate his life this coming Wednesday. For all those who have had to send regrets. He left his influence behind... his example of how it truly is possible to love every person by finding that spark of the Divine in each one.

Bye my daddy,
Good Night, God Bless

Friday, August 06, 2010

Nothing Stops a Bullet Like a Job

I just cranked it up and listened to the whole 48 minutes while shuffling papers here...

... much better than listening to the radio spewing noise...

It was worth every minute and makes me stand taller and just get on with it !!!

later man, jan